Importance of professional psychological help

How I’ve come to this

For several years I’ve been saturating myself in work. I was building a career in the oil and gas industry and I thought that the stress that my career path was putting me through was a kind of mandatory side effect of success. At that moment, when I realized that I could not cope with the situation on my own anymore, I decided to try going to a psychologist.

Previously, I categorically rejected this idea. The reasons were quite common. Now I often hear the same arguments from other people when I offer them to consult a psychologist. Here are the main ones.

I am like a psychologist myself

Many people believe that if they read a lot of psychological literature, they are able to solve their own problems. If someone succeeds, that is just great. However, in many cases, even with a wealth of useful information, people continue to complain about the same problems as before.

Usually, when I try to tie the current situation to the existing skills in psychology and analyze the problem, in response to that I hear “yes, yes, I know, I have to do it and it’s like this, but …” and then: easier said than done, I just can’t do it, it’s someone else who has a problem and not me, and much more.

What is the conclusion? It is simple: sometimes a person cannot help him / herself, despite all the acquired knowledge.

A good psychologist is hard to find

This argument is reasonable. However, if you have a problem with the tooth, which urgently needs to be solved, it is unlikely that you will cancel a visit to the dentist, because a good doctor is difficult to find. Unfortunately, many people (especially in Russia) underestimate the importance of psychological and mental health.

Many people are used to the fact that life is given to them in order to solve problems. In many ways, this is the impact of the life of previous generations, when the main thing was to work for the benefit of society, the Motherland and ideas, and life itself was quite difficult (in particular, in the USSR). The person as an individual was considered to a lesser extent, than as a part of society.

Now we live in a time when the human personality is more important. Figuratively speaking, the better a person feels, the better it is for society and for the person him / herself. Happy employees, who like their job, work more productively and show better results. Those spouses who are happy in their marriage have a beneficial and creative influence on each other. Relaxed and happy parents grow the same children.

That is why it is so important to monitor your condition and, if there are problems, contact a specialist.

I don’t have money for it

I can easily beat this argument by the fact that many cities have free psychological services. It is not necessary to go to a paid psychologist. Perhaps the search for a suitable specialist will take more time, but the result, I’m sure, will be worth it.

I started my communication with a psychologist thanks to the recommendation of a friend. She told me about the specialist and the psychological center in which she (the psychologist) works. The center offers the first five sessions free of charge. Later, the client decides whether s/he wants to continue for a fee.

These five sessions were enough for me to understand that my prejudices and fears were in vain, and the process was very different from how I imagined it.

I can’t tell a stranger something personal

For me it was probably the most restraining argument. I thought it was a little weird to tell a complete stranger about my problems. Imagine my surprise when it turned out not as I expected.

I was lucky to find a specialist who was able to establish excellent contact with me. She managed to teach me to look at the situation differently, to recognize my feelings and emotions and to work on myself in the right direction. If you are uncomfortable with a specialist, you should try another one. I am convinced that sooner or later, you will find a suitable psychologist who will be able to find an approach to you.

What are the particularities of communication with a psychologist?

1. Questions

In my opinion, the main thing that a psychologist does is asking questions. They can be different: uncomfortable, provocative, unpleasant, painful, strange, but always united by one common idea – to get to the cause. Usually, we try not to ask ourselves such questions. And even more so, to not answer them.

The psychologist does not let you get off the subject. S/he can let you speak out, but always returns the conversation back on track. S/he will ask you until it is clear what is at the bottom of it all. Afterwards it will be possible to work on it.

Often we do not know about the true causes of the state of things. A competent specialist will help you figure things out and take appropriate measures to correct the situation.

2. Attention and empathy

You can tell a psychologist everything. S/he will listen and empathize with you. Why? It is very simple: because the psychologist understands why we have these feelings and where they come from. Sometimes this is all we need: someone to just listen to us without making comments on how to deal with it. Often this greatly relieves stress.

3. Explanation

Since the specialist understands why you have certain feelings, s/he can explain it to you. Miraculously, many things become clear, understandable and explicable. For example, I sincerely believed that it was possible to learn some mantra that would relieve stress, and it would be possible to continue working. It never occurred to me that I had a real reason to feel bad. I thought that all my emotional stress was far-fetched and exaggerated.

After talking with a psychologist, I understood why I felt that way. I realized that there were many options out of the situation. Previously, it seemed to me that there was no way out, and I could act in a strictly certain way. I just did not see any other possibilities. The psychologist helped me see the situation from alternative points of view, and we’ve found the way out. And even more than one.

4. Learning to act in a new way

After understanding the causes of the problems, we were able to find solutions together. I’ve been able to think beyond my standard frameworks and limitations. This is a huge difference compared to how I’ve tried to solve problems on my own in the past. Back then, one way or another, I was following the same patterns, which were leading me to the same results.

Before and after

Now I continue to work on myself and feel much better. A lot has changed in my life since then. I have made important and difficult decisions in my professional and personal life. The main difference between my feelings then and now is that now I’m not so scared.

Previously, an idea that the usual state of things can change, was terrifying me. For instance, that I could change my job. Or place of living. Or relationship status. All this promised uncertainty, and it literally paralyzed me.

This was due to the underestimation of my abilities, achievements, opportunities and prospects. And, of course, lack of self-confidence. I see things differently now. I still don’t know exactly what I want, but I know exactly what I do NOT want. That’s quite a lot.

I still have a lot of work on myself to be done ahead. I am very glad that I have come to this, because now my mood is mostly good. And this is good not only for me, but also for those around me.

I wish you to take this important step of taking care of yourself if you feel that it is too much to handle on your own. And most importantly, I wish you to find a suitable specialist as soon as possible.

Good luck and have a good mood!

P.S. Many personal thanks to my psychologist Larisa O. and the person who recommended her 🙂